How to use these scripts and starters
The following sections offer example sentences and short scripts that a student can use (or adapt) during their IEP meeting. These are not meant to be memorized word-for-word; they're templates. A student might say them exactly, or they might rephrase in their own words. The goal is to give them language so they don't freeze when asked a question.
Print these, highlight the ones that fit, and have the student practice saying them aloud a few times before the meeting.
Opening: Introduce yourself and set the stage
At the start of the meeting, the student might introduce themselves and briefly say why they're there. Here are a few ways to do this:
Talking about your strengths
This is the easiest part, but many students downplay themselves. Encourage specific examples, not vague praise.
- I'm really good at… [reading / drawing / helping friends / remembering details / solving math problems / sports / art].
- I like when I get to… [work with a partner / do projects on the computer / draw / work outside / move around].
- People tell me I'm good at… [listening / being creative / trying hard / working with others].
- I'm proud that I… [finished that book / got 100% on the spelling test / helped that student / didn't give up even when it was hard].
- When I'm interested in something, I… [pay really close attention / remember lots of facts / work for a long time without getting bored].
- My favorite class is [subject] because… [it's fun / I understand it / I get to be creative / I like the teacher].
Talking about your challenges
This requires honesty and a bit of courage. Frame challenges matter-of-factly, without shame. These are true statements, not failures.
- I struggle with… [reading / writing / sitting still / remembering things / organizing my backpack / focusing / math facts].
- It's hard for me when… [there's too much noise / the text is small / I have to sit still for long / I have to write a lot / there are too many steps].
- I need help with… [spelling / getting started on assignments / staying organized / understanding instructions].
- One thing that gets in my way is… [my handwriting is slow / I read slower than others / I can't focus when it's loud / I forget things].
- I get frustrated when… [I make mistakes / something is too hard / someone corrects me / I can't find my stuff].
Talking about what helps you
This bridges from challenges to solutions. What accommodations or strategies actually make a difference? Be specific.
- I do better when I… [can take a break / have extra time / use a computer / wear headphones / sit near the teacher / work with a friend].
- It helps me when… [the teacher gives me clear steps / I can move around / the directions are written down / I have a quiet place to work / I use a pencil grip].
- I work best when… [there's a timer / I can choose the order of my work / instructions are shorter / I get to move].
- I learn better with… [a reader / bigger text / colored paper / listening instead of reading / pictures and diagrams].
- The accommodation that really helps is… [extra time / a quiet testing room / using a calculator / having the test read aloud].
Talking about your IEP goals
Goals can feel abstract to students. Help them understand: what skill are they working on, and why does it matter to them?
- One of my goals is… [to read faster / to write longer stories / to solve word problems / to make friends / to stay organized].
- I want to work on… [reading / writing / math / being a good friend / getting organized].
- This goal is important to me because… [I want to read chapter books like my sister / I want to write stories / I want to understand what the teacher says].
- I'd like help with… [understanding what I read / writing longer sentences / remembering the steps in math].
- By the end of the year, I want to… [be able to read a whole chapter / finish my assignments on time / ask for help when I need it].
Asking questions or asking for help during the meeting
It's completely okay for a student to pause, ask for clarification, or admit they don't understand something.
- I don't understand. Can you explain that again?
- Can you say that in a different way?
- What does [word] mean?
- Can we talk about that more?
- I'm confused. I need a moment.
- Can I take a break?
- What does that have to do with my goals?
- I have a question about my accommodations. Can I ask it now?
Disagreeing respectfully (if needed)
Sometimes a student might not agree with what the team is saying. They can speak up respectfully.
- I don't think that's right because… [explain your reasoning].
- I see it differently. Can I tell you what I think?
- I'm not sure I can do that goal. Is there a different goal I could try?
- I don't think that accommodation helps me as much as [different one] does.
Closing: What to say at the end
A brief closing acknowledges the team and the conversation.
Grade-level adaptations
Elementary (grades 3–5)
Keep language simple and concrete. Focus on strengths and challenges. Use shorter sentences. Avoid legal or abstract terminology. Example: "I'm good at drawing. Reading is hard for me. I do better when I use my reader."
Middle school (grades 6–8)
Students can discuss their goals more meaningfully. Start connecting to future interests and why a goal matters to them. Include the idea of accommodations and how they help. Example: "I want to be better at writing because I want to write stories. Extra time helps because I think about my ideas more carefully that way."
High school and transition (grades 9–12)
Connect goals to postsecondary education, work, or independence. Discuss disability identity and self-advocacy more directly. Include legal language (accommodations, modifications, independent goals). Example: "I have ADHD, which affects my ability to focus in busy environments. I need accommodations like extra time and testing in a quiet room. I'm working on time management so that in college I can manage my own schedule."
What not to say
- Don't apologize for your disability or differences: "I'm sorry I'm not as smart as other kids." Instead: "I learn differently."
- Don't downplay your strengths: "I'm not that good at science." Instead: "I'm really good at science."
- Don't make excuses: "I don't care about math anyway." Instead: "Math is hard for me, and I need help."
- Don't put yourself down: "I'm dumb." Instead: "Reading takes me longer, and that's okay."
Tips for actually saying these things
- Practice out loud. Write down a few key sentences and say them to your teacher, parent, or friend. This feels awkward but it works.
- Use your notes. Bring a note card or the completed worksheet to the meeting. Looking at it is not "cheating"—it's an accommodation.
- Slow down. Pause between sentences. It's okay if there's silence. You don't have to fill every quiet moment.
- Make eye contact. Look at the person who asked you the question, not at your feet.
- If you blank, say so: "I forgot what I was going to say. Can we come back to that?"
- It's okay to be nervous. Adults are nervous in meetings too. You're not expected to be perfect.